Why don't you want to ask me????

Please ask me, don't be discouraged, just ask. What am I referring too? Well, in the last few weeks and months I have changed not dramatically but in very sudtle almost what to me seem microscopic ways. You say Kristin, what has changed. Well, I LOST WEIGHT. Yep, I said it. And gosh darn it I'm proud of it. On a great journey of self discovery, reevaluating friendships, doing an internal review of my operating systems and knowing that life is brilliantly short and illness or stupidity will only shorten what I have.

Now this is all came up because of a conversation today as I was at my son's school, let me say, I have been there a 1,000 times and after 9 years of kids schooling there I know, to say the least, a few people that work at the school.  Well, this morning, I was remanded to the Principal's couch to wait as I had a matter to discuss with her.  While sitting there numerous staff walked past, smiling and nodding that, "DARN it, I'm suppose to know her," Look. I smiled back with all the smile I have and thought nothing of it. 

The nurse, I literally have none since my teenager was a pup, walked up and said, "Aren't you Logan's Mom?" I said, "Yes, Nurse P." Puzzled as over the years I have spent more time in her office then I haven't. And she paused not sure what to make her next move, "Have you lost weight?" "No, really." "Have you lost weight?" As the secretary stood to say, "Yeah, I was wondering the same thing." I smiled and said, "Well, yes thank you." We spoke for a few more minutes about my weight loss and the run for Mrs. Alaska United States and they were off. But in the few minutes of our conversation it dawned on me, they had been standing in the nurses office for 4 or 5 minutes discussing if I really was my son's mother and what had changed. 

Needless to say this isn't the first time, THIS exact conversation has taken place recently. It has actually occurred more times then not, and everyone gets that puzzled look like, wait somethings different. Not good different, not bad different just different. I know why people are scared to ask, but really STARING is RUDE!

So I guess my point is, ASK me? Yes, in the last 10 years I have lost 160 pounds, In the last 12 months, do to hard work and a little bit of not so good luck I have lost 40 or so pounds. I have grown into what my dad would hate to hear, A HOTTIE.  I was at an event recently and someone said, "Do you know, how incredibly beautiful you are?" I smiled and said gracefully, "Thank you but no." Cause I know I'm ok, but I see myself at night I don't take a shower in the dark and hanging chads have nothing on things that should not be where they are.(Please someone say they got that joke) 

And really, when you ask, if I look at you like you have a third eye ball, please don't think its because I'm offended. But to me the changes in my body and face and structure are again microscopic and why would anyone notice.  I do appreciate all of it, your heartfelt joy for me in my successes and your down right bummed outness when I don't make my own goals. But this is me, proud, strong, courageous in knowing I have NO idea about the world at hand But I'm certainly going to try and figure it out.